Just Too Much! :Open to Doctors:

[Dr. Robert Chase]

Chase pulled his tray down the aisle, picking up a bag of potato chips and a turkey sandwich. He didn't get anything to drink ~ he wasn't quite thirsty yet, so there was no reason to get one. The cashier charged him $6.50, and Chase forked over a few singles, receiving two quarters in exchange. He flipped them into the tip jar. He never really understood why the cashiers had a tip jar. What did they do besides press a few buttons and charge you money? Besides, what could they be using that tip money for ~ their college fund? Judging by the fact that they were at least forty years old, this was an unlikely possibility. It didn't matter much ~ it got rid of the jingling change in his pocket.

Chase slid into a chair and took the turkey sandwich off of his place, taking a quick bite and chewing quickly. Turkey might be good for the health, but the hospital didn't exactly have the best food. He should've gotten the buttered pasta ~ it might taste a little funny, but it had more flavor than the turkey. Now, he needed something to drink. He picked up his tray and carried it back over to the line, so nobody went over and touched it. Chase was very careful about germs ~ he was a doctor, so this was perfectly normal. Big deal, he liked to stay sanitary. People who'd been diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder did too, but he didn't need to turn the lights off and on five times when he entered a room.

Grabbing a water bottle off of the cold counter, Chase brought his tray back over to the same cashier. "Eight dah-las," The woman charged loudly. Chase raised an eyebrow. Eight dollars for a water? That was a bit outrageous, even for a hospital. In the next instant, Chase saw what was going on. She was charging him for the lunch and the water. Well, he could see how that could be confusing.

"I'm sorry, I paid for this already," Chase explained. "I was here just a minute ago." Dealing with the incompetence of the lesser workers in the hospital was a part of daily life. By this time, the young doctor had learned to deal with it. He was a smart man ahd had dealt with many different types of people ~ stupid was a common quirk.

"Roight. Well, yer a doct-ah, raight? Yas can afford it," The cashier commented with a roll of her eyes and a pop of her gum. Chase stared at her. Was she kidding? He didn't understand how people could be so half-witted. Chase shook his head ~ he didn't have much of an appetite anymore. He'd spend his break relaxing in the back of the cafeteria, or something.

"Know what? Forget it. I'm not very hungry anymore," Chase sighed, putting his tray down. The woman popped her bubble gum again. She raised an eyebrow and gestured towards the bite in the turkey sandwich. Chase groaned and forked over another seven dollars. He'd have to consult Cuddy about this later. Incompetance in the hospital reflected poorly on the doctors ~ or something. He'd have to think of a better argument.

[Lisa Cuddy]

Rubbing her temple, Cuddy walked through the hallways of the hospital, trying to find House. She had checked his office, she had checked the closets, she had even checked the exam rooms (goodness knows she couldn't have expected to find him there - God forbid he should WILLINGLY meet with patients), and still - there was no sign of Gregory House anywhere in the building.

He hadn't called in sick, and even if he had, Cuddy would have forced him to come into work anyway. He was usually faking it anyway. Sighing, she shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair, just trying to figure out where that damn doctor could be. If he wasn't such a genius she would have gotten rid of him years ago, unfortuantely, he proved to actually be worth all of the gray hairs he was giving her (at times, anyway).

Bumping into one of the nurses, Cuddy cursed softly to herself and mumbled an apology, the young woman looking quite affronted. Of course, she couldn't say anything to Cuddy, considering she was basically the boss, basically. She took orders from a few people, but she was usually the one calling the shots, and she liked it that way. Made it easier to explain things. "Because I said so," had always been one of her favorites.

Her mother had used that on her all the time, of course, it was something all mothers liked to use on their little ones. What surprised Cuddy the most was how effective it was. As a young girl she had sworn she would never use it on her own children; however, as she had reached an adult age, she found herself using it with her adult co-workers so often what would be the harm and using it on a child? And if they responded half as well as the doctors and nurses did, well, Hell! She would use it! She hoped to be able to use it sooner rather than later as well, of course, with House "helping" her, it wasn't likely. He just seemed to turn down every option she presented, of course, it always piqued her curiosity as to why he would care. Sometimes she wondered if he actually did "like" her, but those childish thoughts fled from her mind at the fleeting comment about the devlishly low cut of her blouse. God, she hated that.

Reaching in her pocket, she pulled out a five dollar bill. It was enough for a crappy cup of coffee in the cafeteria. There wasn't anything else, unless she brewed it herself, and that wasn't happening. She did like a good cup of coffee; however, when it invovled making it herself, she wasn't going for that. Looking up from the wrinkled five in her hand, she saw a rather frazzled looking Doctor Chase standing in front of her destination. Maybe he knew where House was, after all, it seemed any doctor with that exasperated expression was either dealing with House or dealing with a hemroid. She hoped it was the former.

"Doctor Chase!" She called out, as she approached, "You're looking rather... unsettled. Is House in the cafeteria?" Yes, she meant it to sound like that.

[Dr. Robert Chase]

With a sigh, Chase turned back to the woman. "Come on. I'm starved, can't you just give me the food? I'm not a beger here, I'm not trying to rip you off six dollers and fifty cents!" The twenty-six year old was starting to get really agitated. All he wanted was to get his water-bottle. It had become such a problem ~ Chase didn't understand it. He was one of the smartest doctors in the entire hospital, and he couldn't figure out why this cashier was over-charging him.

"Nup, sorry. Yas could ahks her if yas can have it, she's in cha'hge of this whole dang place," The cashier commented. Who was she talking about? Chase turned around to see Cuddy behind him, calling out his name. Hopefully she could understand. She looked like she was on her last nerve ~ probably something to do with House ~ but he didn't care. It wasn't even about the water anymore. It was the whole principle of the thing.

"House isn't in here ~ why, he hasn't shown up for work yet? Let me guess ~ he has clinic duty now, doesn't he?" Chase shook his head, his blonde hair shaking with each movement. "No, I haven't seen him all day." Chase's thick Australian accent was really showing now. Not that he had any American twang in his voice to begin with, but it seemed whenever he got more frustrated, the worse his accent got. He was still perfectly easy to understand, though.

"Cuddy, talk to me for a second. It's about the...staff we've got here." Chase walked over to his former table, leaving his tray and sandwich behind. He looked at it with longing for a second, and then gestured Cuddy over. "That woman wouldn't let me take my meal ~ I paid for it, but she refuses to believe that." Chase shook his head. This was probably hard to understand. He'd have to go into more detail.

"I paid for the sandwich and the chips, and then I walked over to a table to eat ~ and then I realized I was thirsty and I went up there with my tray and got a water. The same lady told me I needed to pay, what was it, seven dollers?" Chase sighed. He didn't want to go off on a tangent, but he was frustrated, thirsty, and hungry. He didn't have the patience. "Do you think you could, you know...talk to her, or something? This is the only time I have for break, and I'm rather hungry..."

[Dr. Allison Cameron]

Dr. Cameron was just about finished clinic duty, she had one more person to see. The nurse admitted a man in, he was maybe in his late thirties. The man’s name was Mark Green and Cameron knew that she had seen him somewhere before in the clinic. She could have sworn that when she was at the front desk filling out a prescription, she saw him eyeing her. Mark claimed to have a fever, he looked perfectly fine.

“I have had it since last week,” he began, Cameron went to get a thermometer, she felt Mark’s eyes boring holes into her back. She hastily stuck the thermometer in Mark’s mouth, longing for her break that was soon to come. After a minute, 97 degrees blinked on the screen.

“Well, no fever today Mr. Green, you are as healthy as a horse,” Cameron said. She read the expression on Mark’s face, it said he was not satisfied.

“You know, I have been watching you lately and, um, well,” Mark paused, Cameron knew what was coming. “How would you like to go out with me?” Nine long words.

“Mr. Green, I am your doctor, I have no intention of going out with a patient that has been stalking me.” Cameron said. She read his face again, this time it said no one ever turns me down, she was amused.

Cameron made for the cafeteria hoping there was something good on the menu, there wasn’t. She paid five dollars for a bowl of soup, a rip off as everyone knew but it was the only lunch she had. Cameron looked around for a table and spotted Chase and Cuddy. She strolled over to them and took a seat across from Cuddy. Chase was complaining about the staff, Cameron didn’t blame him, they could use new chef’s and cashiers. Cameron acknowledged the two doctors.
“Evening Dr. Cuddy, Chase,” Cameron nodded towards them. Cameron noticed Chase had no lunch, this was not like him, this was his break too. “No lunch Chase?”

[Dr. Gregory House]

"No, I want this one," House proclaimed irritably as he walked into the cafeteria and gestured at a house (pardon the pun) salad. The cashier had picked up a ham one and tried to charge him ten dollars for it. Idiots. He'd have to talk to Cuddy about the awful 'help' in the cafeteria. He was sneaking away from clinic duty; he deserved the salad of his choice. When the incompetent cashier finally handed him his salad he sighed at the price. Who paid that much for a salad?

Shoving eight dollars into the cashier's grubby hands he grabbed a handful of quarters from the tip jar. What? It said 'Tips, Please' and he wanted some tips, please. Counting nine quarters he shoved them into his jacket pocket, glad for the spacious room in them. That was yet another reason he never wore his lab coat (besides the fact that it itched). It had a serious lack of adequate pocket space. Thank god that Volger was gone; no one would force him to wear it now.

Walking over to his usual table he scowled at the site of Cuddy, Chase, and Cameron sitting there. Add Foreman to the group and it'd be a flea circus. Walking nonchalantly past them he used the tip money to buy a soda from the vending machines. damn. He had wasted seven of them. He'd get more on his actual break, though.

Unwrapping the plastic from his 'spork' he chewed a piece of lettuce and tomato thoughtfully. Wrinkling up his nose in distaste he considered complaining, but that would alert Cuddy. Who would send him back to that clinic. Only causing him pain to his leg while sneaking back to his office.

Popping in two Vicodin, he resumed eating the salad, washing it down with generous amounts of a diet Pepsi. Sneaking glaces at the two members of his team he wondered why they had break now and he had to wait until much later that evening. Another thing he'd have to complain about to Cuddy. One of these days he'd lock her in a closet. That'd make him head for a day. His first order would be no clinic duty for himself for a year. Or ten.

"All I'd have to do was find Cuddy's mysterious sperm donor and lock him in with her. Maybe he'd be attractive and they'd stay..." he began aloud. damn it. That had meant to be thought, not spoken...

Shrugging House continued his salad. Since when did he care what everyone else thought?

[Edited for spelling errors]

[Lisa Cuddy]

Maybe Cuddy would reconsider that coffee she was going to buy. She didn't want to be jipped by a tart in the cafeteria. She knew that they were NEEDED to help the hospital run, but this was getting ridiculous. She could only handle so many complaints at once. It wasn't like she was the one literally in charge of hiring them. She was just dean of medicine, she didn't run the whole damn show - not really anyway. She was in charge of doctors and nurses. Maybe she'd have to talk to the head of staff or something, because obviously people couldn't see that she was not the one who was supposed to be dealing with these hospital workers.

Chase's problem was quite miniscule compared to her own, a rogue doctor, but she took the time to listen, and sighing she wasn't quite sure she was happy where this was going. Putting her hands on her hips she shook her head at the young doctor and frowned. "Chase, you know when you go through the line twice it either confuses them or makes them show their true, Jersey selves. Just leave it be. I'll give you the damn seven dollars myself."

"I really need to find House. He has six patients waiting on him. I can't STAND him sometimes," she sneered angrily. Of course, she knew everyone couldn't stand House sometimes. He pushed everyone's buttons (and not always the good ones either). If she could just strangle him, she'd love that. It would relieve several dozen problems, although it would create dozens more. Misdiagnosed deaths would be on the rise... but... No, she couldn't even consider letting that happen. No matter how much Cuddy would have liked to think it was, killing House was NOT worth it. And looking to Cameron who popped up out of nowhere, Cuddy sighed.

She gave Chase the five dollar bill that was crumpled and clutched in her hand. "I'll give you the two other later. Get your lunch and I'll talk to someone about the workers down here." She looked around the cafeteria, dragging her hand through her hair when she spotted what she needed to find. A very pensive looking House sitting at a table all alone. Sniffing loudly, she excused herself from the two younger doctors and stalked towards House, her feather's ruffled and her chest puffed up, like some predatory bird. "Gregory Paul House!" She only used full names when extremely peeved. "You have SIX patients waitign for you in the clinic. Go down there IMMEDIATELY or I will personally see to the fact that you be fired ASAP!"

[Dr. Robert Chase]

Chase glared at Cameron. “I’m waiting for my lunch, thanks.” Chase grumbled, crossing his arms and looking down at his feet. He looked back up and shook his hair out of his face. Things were still moderately awkward between Chase and Cameron, but he wasn’t planning on bringing that up now. As a matter of a fact, he had no intention whatsoever to bring it up at all. Especially not in front of Cuddy -- although Chase was a rat, he wasn’t going to get Cameron fired for something he’d done in the past. Drugs.

“Yeah, but I didn’t need them touching my lunch,” Chase responded blandly. He’d made Cuddy mad -- which wasn’t exactly a good sign. Making Cuddy mad was never something you wanted to do at Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital. It was a recipe for disaster, and Chase knew it. He actually tried his hardest to avoid Chase -- much like House, but not for the same reasons. Chase didn’t honestly care about Clinic duty; it was easy. Mostly just dealing with concerned parents and runny noses -- nothing too out of the ordinary. “I don’t need your money, Dr. Cuddy, I have it…it’s just the principle of it all.” He declined the five dollar bill that Cuddy forked over at him.

Great -- House was going to get into trouble. That was always something funny to watch. “Haven’t seen him, I told you. If you can’t find him, I’ll take his patients,” Chase sighed. Keeping Cuddy happy was important, and he’d try to get House to do something for him later. He’d probably be unsuccessful, but it was always good to have one-up on House, even if it was something as small as clinic duty. Chase was bored, though -- he was reduced to doing medical crossword puzzles. There weren’t any cases for the team to work on.

Chase went back up on line -- this time, there were no people, so he’d be okay. He grabbed an egg salad sandwich this time, as apposed to turkey, an orange instead of an apple, and a lemon Snapple instead of water. He could only hope that this wouldn’t confuse the cashier -- and Chase was grateful to see that it was a new Cashier.

“’Ay, you know who dis belongs ter?” The cashier gestured to Chase’s old lunch. Chase handed over the six dollars he’d been charged. He wasn’t planning on responding, because he just felt stupid, but he couldn’t help it. It was just too funny to see the spectacularly mindless at work.

“I haven’t got faintest idea,” Chase responded almost innocently, quickly bringing his tray back over to the group and silently began eating in the seat diagonal from Cameron’s. Cuddy suddenly stormed over to the opposite side of the room. House was over there with his lunch.

Looking at Cameron, Chase had a nearly comical look on his face. “She’s angry,” He commented.

[Dr. Allison Cameron]

The two doctors were too busy complaining about the staff that they barely noticed Cameron. Cuddy did look at her for a second but that was it. That women did so much for the hospital and the least the doctors could do in return was to cut down on the whining about the staff. To Cameron, Chase was a young doctor. When something wasn't right in the cafeteria Chase would be the first person to notice it and see someone about it.

Cameron began to eat her soup. It tasted like bland broth, almost watery with noddles in it (if you classify the yellow squiggles floating in the soup as actual noodles.) She watched Cuddy and Chase debate for a while.

Cameron caught a glimpse of House eating salad at the opposite side of the cafeteria, avoiding clinic duty. Cameron didn't say anything, she wanted Cuddy to notice him herself. Not a minute after was when she did and stormed over. To bad for House, an angry Cuddy is not what any doctor wants to see.

Chase got a lunch and rejoined Cameron.
"You think she's angry now? Talking to House for just a few seconds will make anyone explode," Cameron said simultaneously picking up a newspaper and reading the article on the front page.

[Dr. Gregory House]

At the site of a very angry Lisa Cuddy storming over to a very Cheshire cat looking him, House began to laugh at her. She looked like Wilson when he had screamed at him for almost getting him fired. "Dr. Cuddy, so very nice to see you," he began, his tone of voice nonchalant. "Grab a chair, kick back, enjoy the break. Although the service sucks, their salads are decent," he continued as he bit into a piece of cucumber.

Moving his cane he gestured for Cuddy to sit, pretending he had no idea what she was talking about. Six patients in the Clinic, who cared? He surely didn't. If he had to handle one more old lady complaining about her lack of sex he'd do something to really get him fired, unlike Cuddy's threat. They were awful, so weakly said. It almost made him chuckle aloud.

"Mmm, and by the way, my middle name is not Paul," House said with his mouth full of cucumber. Table manners didn't matter when an argument was about to begin, especially one with her. It was a game to her, and she thought she was already winning but she was wrong. But then again, what else was new?

Rubbing his leg he propped his cane up, getting ready to leave. He didn't even consider Cuddy trying to stop him, what would she do? Trip him? How juvenile would that be? And besides, she'd make her pay for whatever damage was caused. The woman had to be loaded with her position.

Glancing over his shoulder he noticed the flea circus doing nothing at his table. Standing up he called out, "Who wants Clinic duty? In return you shall obtain a salad,a spork, and a soda. Bidding starts at six patients. Ready? Go!" And with that, he smiled at Cuddy, pushed his salad aside and limped out of the cafeteria, satisfied. He had forgotten to mention, however, whoever won the 'bidding' would owe him eight dollars... plus tips.

[Lisa Cuddy]

"There is no break House," Cuddy frowned. She crossed her arms across her chest, amplifying her already amplified bit of cleavage. She was giving House that look that mothers often gave when their children came into the house after a long day of play all muddy and disgusting and refused to bathe, or insisted they weren't dirty. Obviously they knew they were wrong, but refused to acknowledge it. If anything put Cuddy in a maternal mood, it was watching after House.

She didn't care about his middle name either - although, she could have sworn she had seen or read Paul somewhere. It didn't REALLY matter, but she was kind of curious, considering she would have sworn up and down it was Paul. And grimmacing, she was disgusted by his lack of table manners, although not surprising - it was aggrivating. He could at least have a stitch of decency around his superior.

Cuddy was not amused. Rubbing her temple she felt the beginnings of a headache. She should have just had someone cover for him. That would have been a good idea. She just wanted to kick him, no actually, she wanted him to stand up and kick the cane out from under him. That would be hysterical - obscenely mean, but hysterical. Besides, it wouldn't be like she wouldn't have a cheering section behind her. The cronies would laugh too - or scurry up and help him because they didn't want to get him angry. Cuddy could care less, he couldn't fire her - so she'd treat him how she liked.

Grabbing him by the collar, in an act of superhuman strength Cuddy hauled House up off the chair and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him down to her level - eye to eye. "If you don't get down to clinic right now," she growled, "I will put you on pediatrics. There - you have to be nice. At least in the clinic you have a chance to stretch your malevolent legs. Now. Go!"